Cause she is not just any woman, she is my mom

Hi dear readers :) And assalamualaikum to my muslim's readers.

It's 2.38 a.m in the morning and i still cannot close my eyes. Why? Lots of reasons actually which few of them is i gonna face my final like 3 days from now and then another reason is...

It's Mother's Day today and i , I , I really just want to make one special post  to reminisce all the memories I once had with my mother cause let's just say, I miss her, A lot.

So, here it goes.

• My mother brought me to this world on 25th of November 1994 by caesarean surgery at Hospital Bukit Mertajam, Pulau Pinang. Apparently, i was the only one out of 8 siblings that is born through surgery which until today makes me feel guilty for making her go through that sick process.

• I still remember the time when i use my savings (daripada tabung yang keluar music setiap kali letak syiling tu hehe) to buy my mom a batik pyjamas for her birthday.

• And those years of darjah 4,5,6 when my mom was my English teacher ( and i was really confused whether to call her ma or teacher :D). Having breakfast with her everyday at school, asking her money like three times a day cause my mom was always at the staff room and also that prank when she told me i didn't get 5A's in UPSR when actually she knew the result already.

• I am the last child so i was teased really badly by my five brothers and one uncle. Everytime i was teased, i will always find my mom, cried on her lap until i fell asleep and when i woke up i will always find out that my brothers had been scolded already by my hero,my mom.

• I was really thin back then because i was really choosy and only eat what i like. So, what she did is that she always ensure everyday's menu is my favourite( and she was the best cook ever i tell you)

• She was my model. If she bought jubah,I would ask for a jubah too and she would buy me the exact jubah for me even it was very hard to find the appropriate one for kids.

• 2007,I got a dream when i was form 1 and in my dream, i see that my mom is dead and i cried until i woke up the next morning only to find out it was just a dream.

• June 24th 2008, She really left me. I never thought that the dream i had becomes a reality. I didn't just lose my mom, i lose my strength. From that day until now, i was never the same awin like i used to and never will be. 

If people asked me what is the biggest lesson life has given me i would answer :

Nothing stays in this world, nothing

Happy mother's day ma,
Eventhough i might be talking to myself,
I just want you to know,
That your little girl has grown up so much,
She now learns how to cry by herself cause she know she lose the hand that always wipe her tears when she lose you, 
She now knows how to tell her stories to herself cause she just can't find anyone to listen like you did, 
She now realise that she has to pat her own back when she achieved something cause you're just not there anymore for her, 
She learnt that life is hard and she has to walk by herself cause you're not there to hold her hand anymore, 
And she wants you to know one more thing,
that she misses you , a lot,
and she actually hate everytime Mother's day is celebrated cause she hates seeing everyone else calling their mom and she's the only one who can't do that.