The new girl

Hey dear readers ;)

Seeing the clock at date at the dekstop really means something to me now . It's 25th of May already , and tomorrow i gonna go to KL for my registration with yayasan peneraju for my IB .

Yeah , i knew . My life gonna face some major change . Am i ready or not ? I don't think i can answer it now . Life has been harsh for me , means that i have faced so many things . Yeah i knew some might say , this girl whined a lot bla3 . Hear me say this :

Easy for you . You're not in my shoes . If you were in my place , you would fall the first step -.-"

Honestly , if my faith is not strong enough , i could have stumbled . There are too many things burdening my head , i just wish i have a delete button to delete all those unpleasant memories .

This is probably the best for me now . Yeah , haters gonna hate , but don't worry , i'll keep on walking . I have got this once in a lifetime chance and not gonna waste it . Leave everything else behind to make study as my main priority , yeah that's my goal for now .

So , kolej mara banting , please be nice to me ? I'm starting my life over and really hope that this is the right place for me . :)

A dream come true

Hey dear readers :)

Whoaaa , feel like it had been ages since i updated my baby boo blog here . "=.=

So sorry sayang , hehe. Just sooo miserable these days thinking where to study and bla3 . But , don't worry laa. I'm back already . :)

So , my dear readers ,

Maybe i wasn't the straight a's student . Maybe i'm not one of the teacher's pets . Maybe i'm just the girl whom the teacher don't really took notice of . But apart of all the maybe's , i'm proud of myself actually *bukan takbur oke * .

So , yesss . I got 9 a's 1 c . A not so good result right especially with the c .

But i did work hard after my result as i truly believes in second chance . Every single links that my friends shared *super duper thanks to all of you * , i clicked and i filled every form that i found . My main goal is i want to study without having to burden anyone else and the only way to achieve it is by getting a scholarship .

and yessss , am happy to share that i got a scholarship from yayasan peneraju to further my study in international baccalaureate for two years in kolej mara banting and insyaallah gonna further my studies in pharmacy overseas :)

However , keep on reminding myself :

" Dah orang sponsor belajar tu belajar la bersungguh-sungguh . Sudah2 la ponteng apa semua tu . Umur dah 18 , kena la act macam umur awak tu . Nanti kang terkandas tengah jalan , haa, mati laaa"

Got it my dear ? Hee


P/s: People keep on asking me what the hell is this baccalaureate thing *fyi , me too have to google it every time i wanna spell it >.<* , so let me tell you this . Ib is just like a level . It's the kind of preparation programme before students study overseas .

Wanna know more ? Click this link :

International baccalauratte

Torn apart -.-

What to choose ?!!! What to chooseeeeee ?!!! 

Hee . hey dear readers :)

I'm sure even as stressed as i am right now , could never defeat above picture :D

So , my dear . what is actually stressing me out ?

Hoo laaa . sapo x stres ! Brapo minggu agy nop masuk universiti , pgap pilih pom dop agy nop blaja mano ! Grrr , bosey weh bosey ! Aiii seney2 g jadi bini ore lahh! 

Understand or not ? Hihi , actually the thing that i babble above is that i don't know how to make a right decision . Between Universiti Islam Malaysia , Matrik Negeri Sembilan and another two choices are still quite not sure yet which is a scholarship from yayasan peneraju potensi bumiputera and also a scholarship to further degree in chemistry oversea under mara .

Ask me which one is my first choice and i'll definitely answer that scholarship from yayasan peneraju . Whyyy ?

Cause i REALLY *let me just bold this word * , really wanted to further my studies in pharmacy . I mean REALLY .

But still everything seems so blurry -.- .

and to add icing on the cake , i haven't prepared anything . I mean nothing . Just staying at my brother's house right now , waking up at twelve , logging in my facebook , twitter ,whatsapping with my friends. Urgh , what a perfect life . I mean what could possibly be more boring than this ?

Looking at other's tweet about their preparation , Really , just make things worst . Puhlisss , somebody help me out here >.<

Ya Allah , you knew what is the best for me . Please guide me towards the best choice. Aminnnn 

Happy Mother's Day

See that statement above ? It's normal you know . Yeah , nothing personal , i mean we're as human , we learn through a process of doing mistakes . :)

Just with a minor exception , during age 14 , i didn't have the chance to say that "my mom is so annoying " , as the only phrase i was able to say is " ma , i miss you " and at age 18 the only one i wanna say the most to my mom is " ma, i hope you're proud to see me now " .

My dear readers , this isn't the post to tell how much i missed my mom . But , i just want to tell how lucky you are for still having someone to hug and tell that everything's gonna be fine when everything seems so messed up ,someone that felt happy too for your joy , and someone that you know your secret is safe with .

But i know everything happen for a reason . Perhaps , i wouldn't be who i am today if i don't face all those obstacles . And again , i am thankful enough for whatever i have till today .Just wanna recall about what the interviewers from yayasan peneraju potensi told me :

" Your mom will always be a part of you . To see how fluent you speak in english , i can tell that your mom has done a great job in raising you "

Yeah and you know what

Happy mother's day , ma ,
Sorry if it's a bit late wishing you this ,
But for sure a day to appreciate everything you have done to me is far from enough ,

Even though by mere eyes i couldn't see you ,
But i feel you ,
In my deepest heart ,
You will always be a part of me ,
In everything i do ,
It will always be you that i wanna impress the most

Even words are not good enough to describe this ,
But I love you ,
Not only for everything you've done to me ,
But for what you've made me become .

Getting used to this

Hey dear readers ;)

So , what day is today ? It's a friday and if before ,as a kelantanese , i was getting used to the idea that every friday is a holiday for us . But now that i'm in kl , it's a working day plus the fact that i'm not one of the worker , i just happened to have a mara interview today .

*maaf gambar sedikit blur . Silap photographer :P

So , above is the picture of us as a team . Here it goes , when i first came and register my name , the admin gave me an orange sticker *as you can see in the picture , which states C-1 that stands for chemistry first candidate .

Long story short , the interview went well i guess . But actually i have just being told during the interview that if we got this , we gonna further our studies in oversea bla3 , and when we return to malaysia ,we would have to be a mrsm teacher for 8 years probably at areas as sandakan and the kind of rural area .

My jaw just dropped . Haha , never imagined myself as a teacher actually and most importantly staying at that kind of areas . I think no . Not suitable for me at all . -.-

Then after finished the interview , i just walked alone , went to sogo , then komuter station , only to find out that i have to walk again to ktm station . From ktm masjid jamek  to segambut , i ride the wrong train and have to switch train at kl sentral . Phewww , what an experience . But , not just that ,  as i arrived at the segambut ktm station , walking alone as a lone ranger , waited for quite half an hour under the so "soothing" sun *ha'a , makk memang sukaa berjemur >.< * , then only a taxi stops to fetch me and alhamdulillah , arrived safe and sound already at home .

What a day -.-

But i guess , i should get used to this . After all , am turning 18 already . Must know how to stand on my own right ? I'm not moaning or being grumpy as i know this is the process of me slowly adapting to this new way of life:)

A blessing in disguise i guess :D

Hey dear readers ;)

Ohmyyyy , miss my dear blog so much :3

So , is there anyone missing me ? *hihi , ok tutup muka . Perasantan je kannn :D

There are a lot of things happened recently in my life that i haven't got a time to tell them all in one post . But , all round up in simple word , i learnt how to stand on my own already now . This week is really a busy one for me . Starting from tuesday , i came to kuala lumpur from kelantan , then yesterday , went to a personality test , then just now , came home from the interview drenched from head to toe .

But wait ... What is actually i'm babbling about ?

My dear readers , so sorry for a bit late sharing about this . Hee ,so alhamdulillah , last week i got a call from yayasan peneraju tunas potensi *ok stop doing that curious face -.- . I know it's not that popular as jpa or mara or whatsoever . It's just that it's a new scholarship that is specially for bumiputera and determined to give 5 a's and above students a second chance .

How the interview go on ?

Hurmmm -.- . I think it's great . I mean i really love the way they treat all the students that they call for the interview . Then the interviewers are really friendly thus making me feel comfortable and alhamdulillah , i  think i have done my best . Left effort for me is to pray that i could be one of their sponsored students .


P/s: Tomorrow is another interview waiting for me . It's mara . Hope that everything went smoothly . Aminnn :)

Am i strong ?

Hey dear readers ;)

So , how are you ? Me ? Dunno to describe whether i'm fine or not . It's already 3 pm and i still haven't had my bath . Why ? I don't know , really , i don't . It's just that the plkn thing , then having to decide where to study and plus everything lead me to this ---> i just wish my mum is here

Looking at my room and how much mess have i made , how i haven't prepare anything for plkn when it;s the day after tomorrow already ,how i haven't really filled all those stuff , and most importantly how i missed having someone called mother . I know that it's closer to may already which bring me closer to a date which every year after 2008 ,where jealousy is my companion .

Yeah , i'm jealous . Too jealous . Seeing others have someone to celebrate mother's day with .

and then to add the icing on the cake , when i was blogwalking at my sister's blog , i found this post Click here , which causes me to cry for the thousandth time perhaps .

                                                   
        *i know this picture would make me cry , but it's ok . As long as it heals a bit my pain of missing mom    

Ma ,
I just wish that you're here ,
or at least watching me ,
I just wanna say hi ma,
Do you miss me as much as i did ,
Do u cry every time u see me cry of missing you ,

I'm sorry if i did ,
I'm not as strong as you ,
but i do wish to ,
I have so much to tell you ,
but if i am given a chance to say something for 5 sec to you ,
it would be " Ma , i love you so much and i want you to know that "

and ma , this once a girl that cried on your lap is going to further her studies in university already .... Urghhh ,   just wished you're here . I need someone like you to be excited for me , that i gonna enter university already , that i knew you would bring me shop everything i need .

" Ya Allah , keep my faith strong and may one day i learnt from these pain . Forgive me Ya Allah if i keep on moaning .