This novel of mine :)

“What was she thinking at that time ! “ Jane cannot stop getting mad with herself for accepting Joey in the first place . “ “ Why was I so stupid for thinking maybe he’s not the same like the other guy . Why ohhh why ? “

All those thoughts are lingering in her head until her blackberry vibrates . “ Uhh , joey ! Whatever this moron want from me this time “ , but still her hand grab the phone to see joey’s bbm .

“ Got something important to talk to you . See you 3pm at usual place “

“Whatever Joey whatever “ , Jane just throws her phone on her bed and cuddles in her blanket . Little does she know seconds after that her tears just flowed swiftly as she just could not deny how much she still care about Joey .

“Stupid Joey stupid me. Ahh I got to sort this out before I become any crazier “Picking up her phone, she started to get herself ready. Yeah Joey, it has been two years and we’re still clinging on this tiny invisible string which I don’t even know what to call.

Putting on pink lipstick and a bit of baby powder, Jane knows herself better. She just doesn’t have to put too much effort. So , going out of her house wearing white peplum with red skirt and black head scarf , she just look as elegant as she always did . Looking at the fact, it’s not that no one tried to tackle her, but it’s her cold reaction that can scare anyone who made a move on her and also she got a tiny little problem she couldn’t solve .

 Her mum, she was too scared to tell her mum about the reality of her relationship with Joey as she knew how much her mum adores Joey and how her health will be affected if she knew the truth. “This bloody thing is freaking complicated “, mumbled Jane as she is waiting for Joey. “Talking about me darling? “  . Joey just appeared out of nowhere looking like the Hugo Boss model as always , well at least in Jane’s vision that is how Joey always s appears to her .

“Whatever Joey whatever. You said you wanted to tell something important .Shoot. “Keeping her composure, Jane just pretend as if she felt nothing when inside her heartbeat just uncontrollable .

“Well Jane , I  hope you’ll listen “ * phone vibrate . “Wait, I got a call, it’s from daddy “quickly Jane answered the call. “Yeah daddy, whattt ?! Ok I’ll go now.”   “Why? What the hell just happened?“ Joey just pulled Jane’s hand asking for explanation.

“Let go of my hand you fool . FYI , It’s none of your business and now can you just please let go of my hand! “ “Ok , I’m sorry . Now can you just please tell me what’s happening? “begged Joey . “Just shut up and get into the car please ?” Jane just cannot acts cool anymore and drive like she owns the road . Upon reaching the hospital , she just leaves the car with Joey and asks him to park it for her . “Lucky I’ve known you long enough Jane “ , mumbled Joey seeing Jane being panic as hell .

Joey rushes to the ward just to see Jane’s sad expression beside her mother’s bed. “ What’s wrong Jane ? Hye auntie “Smiled Joey and kissed Jane’s mum like he always did. Joey notices Jane’s making face but he just acts natural. “Glad you came Joey” smiled Jane’s mum while trying hard to sit. “Let me help you auntie” offered Joey upon seeing how hard Jane’s mum tries.

“Thanks Joey. U’re a great guy, glad my daughter found someone like you ““Mum please , don’t flatter him too much” cut Jane as she is a bit fed up to continue that conversation. “I haven’t finished my sentence yet Jane. Can you guys especially Jane, listen carefully what I’m trying to say?”  “Ok now I really want to go from here fast” thought Jane as she feels as if she knows what her mum is trying to say the next second. “You know I won’t last any longer with emm you guys know about my cancer. And I really have a favour I would like to ask you guys” uttered Jane’s mum and that only is enough to make Jane’s heart drop .

“Yes mum , anything for you . Now can you please stop saying that as you gonna stick around mum. You gonna see my kids mum , I’ll even let you take care of them” Jane just couldn’t hold her emotion anymore listening to her mum’s sad voice .

Reaching for Jane’s hand , her mum said “I know you guys have been together long enough for me to assure that Joey can really take care of you Jane,my one and only princess and , before I close this eyes of mine, I would be the happiest mum if you, Joey would like to take my daughter as your wife” 

Feeling like a bomb just explode , Jane just sit and gives a blank expression. “I would be honoured auntie, of course I’ll grant that wish of yours” answered Joey looking as sincere as he can.

Jane cannot deny how relieved she feels looking at her mother’s happy face upon hearing Joey saying yes . But Jane remember Jane! Joey left you , don’t you remember how miserable you was two years ago? How much tears you’ve wasted for that guy? To know the fact that Joey never really disappear from her life . Well yeah , he knew everything Jane did , from who did Jane met to how Jane dressed up . Yeah, Joey can appear scary sometime. But that is what actually made Jane confused. She’s not sure what Joey really wants , and now that Joey has agreed to marry her, only God knows what gonna happen next .

“Little bitchy Joey, why do you this to me? I freaking hate you so much I wish you have no one to marry on your wedding day. But I’m your bride , that’s why you’re so bitch Joey” mumbled Jane when she’s being make up by the makeup artist . “Now look at the bride , isn’t she looks gorgeous but with an if , if you just add some smile dear “ “Yeah right , the day I gonna start smiling back is after I got divorced from that guy” thought Jane as she was being carried to the mosque .

Now can we start the wedding please?

P/s: To be continued ... and please leave some comments whether it's good or it's boring . I just did this to fill my free time during the sem break :) 

Main cikgu-cikgu

Hey dear readers ;)

So , it's the 1st August today and my august wish is ?

Emm emm =.= . i don't really have any specific one but i think i wish to find my feet fast in KMB that is to be clear on my goal , to put effort to understand whatever the teachers taught *especially math and TOK-urgh >,<  experiencing a lot of meltdown there* ,to balance my study with other important aspects in life, and last but not least , to enjoy my time being as an ib student :) , insyaallah.

so , my dear ,back to the real purpose of this post ,actually  i want to tell about my first experience of CAS today at Sek Ren Kanchong Tengah .

                                         
                                                *posing dengan deskmate tersayang jap :D

" Huh ? CAS ? Ape jadahnye tu ? "

Hee , save the question because this ib will newbie explain about it .

Creativity, action, service (CAS, or SAC in Austria) is a mandatory core component of the IB Diploma Programme. It aims to provide a 'counterbalance' to the academic rigour of the educational programme. Before the 2010 examination there was a 150 hour requirement, with an approximately equal distribution of creativity, action, and service. This was mainly done for two reasons: to ensure that students engage in meaningful activities and to decrease the amount of CAS fraud (i.e. claiming hours which have not been completed


and plus in my dictionary , cas means no class for the whole day*which i totally L.OV.E! , can sleep at 4am or even later than that :D* , and offering our services at the place we were given by the colleague .

so , for today , the services that we offered is teaching the weak students any subject that they prefer and me ? Firstly i taught a standard 3 student how to read faster and to identify the difference between 'ayat' and 'frasa' *yeah , i did that , by constantly reminding myself of "sabar itu separuh dari iman"*. Then the second one is i taught three students of how to make the five sentences *teringat kenangan upsr dolu2 :D*

                                         *me and my students :D

Hurm , so , what did i learnt through this ?

"It's not easy to be a teacher , not at all "

and by this ,my respect towards the teachers really become higher as only when u're in their shoes , only would you understand how much patience it takes to teach .

But , on top of all that , really enjoyed the times . I mean time really flies . We didn't even notice that it was time already for us to finish our class :) and most meaningfully , when we want to go back ,there was this student came to ask us " esok , akak datang lagi x ? " .

Alahai , so sweet kann ? ^_^ .

P/s: and again , no homework for today . Sighs , nak buat ape ni nak buat ape >,<

Happy Ramadhan ma :)

Hey ma ,
Been missing you as always ,
Infact it never changes since june 2007 ,
and how time really flies ,

It;s the fifth time celebrating Ramadhan without you already ,
But still i just feel as if ,
it was just yesterday ,
that you woke me up for sahur ,
and i continued sleeping on the couch ,

It was as if just yesterday ,
You cooked my favourite food for buka puasa ,
and i ate as if haven't eaten for years ,

and mom ,
it felt just as if ,
it was just yesterday ,
I celebrated ramadhan by still having you to be called ma ,


Ma ,
If you can see me right now ,
i would quickly wipe my tears away ,
as i wanna be as strong as you always do ,

and ma ,
if you can listen to me,
i just wanna wish ,
Happy ramadhan ma,

and i want you to know that ,

 there've  never been a day passed that i stopped missing you :|

A dream come true

Hey dear readers :)

Whoaaa , feel like it had been ages since i updated my baby boo blog here . "=.=

So sorry sayang , hehe. Just sooo miserable these days thinking where to study and bla3 . But , don't worry laa. I'm back already . :)

So , my dear readers ,

Maybe i wasn't the straight a's student . Maybe i'm not one of the teacher's pets . Maybe i'm just the girl whom the teacher don't really took notice of . But apart of all the maybe's , i'm proud of myself actually *bukan takbur oke * .

So , yesss . I got 9 a's 1 c . A not so good result right especially with the c .

But i did work hard after my result as i truly believes in second chance . Every single links that my friends shared *super duper thanks to all of you * , i clicked and i filled every form that i found . My main goal is i want to study without having to burden anyone else and the only way to achieve it is by getting a scholarship .

and yessss , am happy to share that i got a scholarship from yayasan peneraju to further my study in international baccalaureate for two years in kolej mara banting and insyaallah gonna further my studies in pharmacy overseas :)

However , keep on reminding myself :

" Dah orang sponsor belajar tu belajar la bersungguh-sungguh . Sudah2 la ponteng apa semua tu . Umur dah 18 , kena la act macam umur awak tu . Nanti kang terkandas tengah jalan , haa, mati laaa"

Got it my dear ? Hee


P/s: People keep on asking me what the hell is this baccalaureate thing *fyi , me too have to google it every time i wanna spell it >.<* , so let me tell you this . Ib is just like a level . It's the kind of preparation programme before students study overseas .

Wanna know more ? Click this link :

International baccalauratte

Torn apart -.-

What to choose ?!!! What to chooseeeeee ?!!! 

Hee . hey dear readers :)

I'm sure even as stressed as i am right now , could never defeat above picture :D

So , my dear . what is actually stressing me out ?

Hoo laaa . sapo x stres ! Brapo minggu agy nop masuk universiti , pgap pilih pom dop agy nop blaja mano ! Grrr , bosey weh bosey ! Aiii seney2 g jadi bini ore lahh! 

Understand or not ? Hihi , actually the thing that i babble above is that i don't know how to make a right decision . Between Universiti Islam Malaysia , Matrik Negeri Sembilan and another two choices are still quite not sure yet which is a scholarship from yayasan peneraju potensi bumiputera and also a scholarship to further degree in chemistry oversea under mara .

Ask me which one is my first choice and i'll definitely answer that scholarship from yayasan peneraju . Whyyy ?

Cause i REALLY *let me just bold this word * , really wanted to further my studies in pharmacy . I mean REALLY .

But still everything seems so blurry -.- .

and to add icing on the cake , i haven't prepared anything . I mean nothing . Just staying at my brother's house right now , waking up at twelve , logging in my facebook , twitter ,whatsapping with my friends. Urgh , what a perfect life . I mean what could possibly be more boring than this ?

Looking at other's tweet about their preparation , Really , just make things worst . Puhlisss , somebody help me out here >.<

Ya Allah , you knew what is the best for me . Please guide me towards the best choice. Aminnnn 

Happy Mother's Day

See that statement above ? It's normal you know . Yeah , nothing personal , i mean we're as human , we learn through a process of doing mistakes . :)

Just with a minor exception , during age 14 , i didn't have the chance to say that "my mom is so annoying " , as the only phrase i was able to say is " ma , i miss you " and at age 18 the only one i wanna say the most to my mom is " ma, i hope you're proud to see me now " .

My dear readers , this isn't the post to tell how much i missed my mom . But , i just want to tell how lucky you are for still having someone to hug and tell that everything's gonna be fine when everything seems so messed up ,someone that felt happy too for your joy , and someone that you know your secret is safe with .

But i know everything happen for a reason . Perhaps , i wouldn't be who i am today if i don't face all those obstacles . And again , i am thankful enough for whatever i have till today .Just wanna recall about what the interviewers from yayasan peneraju potensi told me :

" Your mom will always be a part of you . To see how fluent you speak in english , i can tell that your mom has done a great job in raising you "

Yeah and you know what

Happy mother's day , ma ,
Sorry if it's a bit late wishing you this ,
But for sure a day to appreciate everything you have done to me is far from enough ,

Even though by mere eyes i couldn't see you ,
But i feel you ,
In my deepest heart ,
You will always be a part of me ,
In everything i do ,
It will always be you that i wanna impress the most

Even words are not good enough to describe this ,
But I love you ,
Not only for everything you've done to me ,
But for what you've made me become .

Getting used to this

Hey dear readers ;)

So , what day is today ? It's a friday and if before ,as a kelantanese , i was getting used to the idea that every friday is a holiday for us . But now that i'm in kl , it's a working day plus the fact that i'm not one of the worker , i just happened to have a mara interview today .

*maaf gambar sedikit blur . Silap photographer :P

So , above is the picture of us as a team . Here it goes , when i first came and register my name , the admin gave me an orange sticker *as you can see in the picture , which states C-1 that stands for chemistry first candidate .

Long story short , the interview went well i guess . But actually i have just being told during the interview that if we got this , we gonna further our studies in oversea bla3 , and when we return to malaysia ,we would have to be a mrsm teacher for 8 years probably at areas as sandakan and the kind of rural area .

My jaw just dropped . Haha , never imagined myself as a teacher actually and most importantly staying at that kind of areas . I think no . Not suitable for me at all . -.-

Then after finished the interview , i just walked alone , went to sogo , then komuter station , only to find out that i have to walk again to ktm station . From ktm masjid jamek  to segambut , i ride the wrong train and have to switch train at kl sentral . Phewww , what an experience . But , not just that ,  as i arrived at the segambut ktm station , walking alone as a lone ranger , waited for quite half an hour under the so "soothing" sun *ha'a , makk memang sukaa berjemur >.< * , then only a taxi stops to fetch me and alhamdulillah , arrived safe and sound already at home .

What a day -.-

But i guess , i should get used to this . After all , am turning 18 already . Must know how to stand on my own right ? I'm not moaning or being grumpy as i know this is the process of me slowly adapting to this new way of life:)